The Greywater Gazette
Pith Measures the Waterline; The Numbers Do Not Agree
Gerald Pith, retired of the postal service and unretired of curiosity, spent Wednesday at the lake with a stick and a length of knotted string. His finding, recorded in a notebook he now carries everywhere: the lake is lower than last week by the eye, and yet the dock planks are wet a full hand's width higher than the water reaches. "It can't be both," Mr. Pith said. "Lower and wetter. It can't be both." Constable Dunmore, shown the notebook, observed that docks get wet and closed the matter. Mr. Pith has opened a new page. He has, the Gazette notes, a great many pages left.
From Around the Falls
Birdsong Absent from the Eastern Shore
Walkers report the trees along the water gone silent, no birds at the feeders nearest the lake though those further up the hill are busy as ever. "It's like there's a line," said Toby Fern, "and they all know where it is."
Mill Reports Itself Idle, Again
For the avoidance of doubt, and at Mr. Mossley's request, the Gazette confirms the mill has not run since September. Whatever hums at night, it is not the mill. Mr. Mossley asked us to print that. He did not say what he thought it was instead.
Constable Advises Calm Re: Cats
Five cats now on Mr. Pith's list. Constable Dunmore advises residents that there is "no pattern," a phrase Dr. Okonkwo notes is itself a pattern.
Letters to the Editor
“Editor. I said the lake's low from the dry season and I'd thank you to keep printing that. I'd thank you. Hank. (You can leave this letter out if you want. Actually leave it out. Actually print it. I don't know. H.)”